“Levels of Importance” – a short thought

“There is only one thing more painful than not learning from experience and that is not learning from experience.”  - Archibald McLeish      

Depending on your status and position in life, there are many instances when what you gripe about does not affect wholly you as a human being.  Rather, it tortures you emotionally for a short period of time, giving you the illusion that it’s worth getting angry over when ten years from now, it’s probably going to make all the difference.

            When I mean ‘make all the difference’ I mean that if not for these “hurtful” events you won’t be where you will be tomorrow.  An alternate future would exist and it will be a stark contrast from the results of the experiences you encounter today.  After a few months at this Santa Monica College, I look back at all my labeled “bullshit” and realize that I would know what I know today without my so-called “tragic” events.

            In conclusion, being here is not a tragedy.  When I compare myself to where my other friends are right now, starting over in universities in the foreign country known as the “East coast” liken CSUDH units to used bubblegum under a desk, I am far ahead, making transfer eligible status in less than a year and shocking the pajamas out of everyone who has eventually figured out that the graduation ceremony programs were a total lie and that I’m not currently at USC.

            The two most important words in that previous sentence are “not currently.”  This period of time has given me a second shot to come in as an undergrad to that institution.  It has given me a higher incentive to reach for an even higher goal.  There is no reason to feel depressed.  I have the opportunity to seek a little bit of revenge and savor the moment.  As a close friend of mine once told me, “Carpe Diem does not mean ‘complain daily.’”

            It’s pretty pathetic to approach college transfer applications in such an aggressive manner, but with the amount of overqualified students applying to places such as USC and getting denied, that is the only way to approach them.  You are literally at war with the admissions department and you have the chance of taking a sniper shot to the back of the head.  Unlike actual war, you can rise from the dead, pick up your rifle, and start shooting back again…until you eventually win and trample over the defeated.

            So here I am with my arsenal.  Essays are literally in the can and slowly being fine-tuned until they deliver the more than perfect message.  I’ve got mentors, charities, non-profit organizations, and counselors from everywhere ready to write me letters of recommendation.  I’ve got the grades and the perfect schedule that fits around keeping them that way.  Soon will be the time to strike back and I am keeping watch for the applications that will lead me to the battlefield.

            I know what failure is.  It appears in my life’s story more often than my great successes.  Although my successes are great, they do not come with their overwhelming shares of toiling, frustration, and sometimes, physical pain.  With this tiny prick in my side known as college transferring, the thought of “circumstances beyond my control” comes to mind.  In one way, this series of incidents were out of my control, but in another, what is left to control is in my grasp.
            I am not victim of circumstance.  Rather, circumstance is my hostage and I will threaten it until it works for me.  I may have not been in control of what has happened to me in the past but I do know that I can force it to curve in my direction.